Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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