So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize