Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize