We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
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Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
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You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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