hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize