Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize