sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize