I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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