I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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