Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
We are all done wearing pants today
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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