They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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