Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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