Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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