i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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