i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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