yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize