You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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