rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
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You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
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Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize