you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize