Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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