i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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