If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize