Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
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oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
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You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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