Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
one two three fourrrrnication!
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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