he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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