...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
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Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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