it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
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I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
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He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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