I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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