shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It's official drugs can't kill me
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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