I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize