Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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