I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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