You can't motorboat a personality
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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