i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
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