Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
My life is pants optional.
Randomize