Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
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I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
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he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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