eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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