i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize