there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
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the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
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I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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