Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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