They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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