While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize