I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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