Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
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Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
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For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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