Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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