is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
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Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
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Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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