...so i touched it.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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