I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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