dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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