I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left the knife in your bed.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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