I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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