Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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