I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize